I went on a retreat this week and was in a workshop with an ex-Peace Corps, ex-United Nations conflict mediator.

Here's the best thing she taught us:

The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way THEY want to be treated.

The why:

We act out of subconsciousness many times. (Have you ever been told to fix your face?)

So when we're in conflict, we may not be aware of what's actually happening inside us.

This is where it got good (and I started to hear my therapist in my head):

Rather than addressing the conflict at hand, we need to address the unmet need. Then, the conflict resolves itself.

When working with others and we hit a wall, we need to really see the emotions underneath the conflict.

Maybe the other person or entity don't feel:

• Understood
• Heard
• Control
• Respect
• Trust
• Safe
• Connected

The fix: Try to jump to meeting these needs.

If there's someone you're working with is a micromanager, they might feel any number of emotions. To address this unmet need, we can give them something in return.

• Lack of control > Give predictability
• Lack of trust > Give consistency
• Lack of safety > Give assurance

So what does this have to do with marketing?

Nothing.

And everything.

Marketing can feel really transactional, if you forget that you're talking to PEOPLE.

The person who is buying dog boarding services obviously has a need to board their dog.

But they have more than just that need.

They need to feel assured, trust, and safe that their rescue senior pet isn't being bullied by younger, poorly trained dogs.

Their annoying check-ins or requests are a need to know you care for their baby as much as they do.

Do these 3 things I learned to help resolve conflict immediately:

1. "Pass the salt" - Say this to yourself before you speak to make sure you're controlling your tone.
2. Acknowledge how the other person feels before you go into solution mode.
3. Use The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way THEY want to be treated.

When in doubt, don't label them as "crazy" or "impossible to work with". Instead meet them with the unmet needs they're hungry for (because we all get a little bit hangry).