Personal update: This was my first week back from my wedding and honeymoon.

We played a round of golf (happy to say my swing has improved!), ate some exciting new foods, and when we returned, I felt so invigorated to return and pick up where I had left off.

I have to share some of my favorite photos (including an olive on an olive tree in Kalamata, Greece):

Genuinely, thank you for celebrating me and being part of this exciting season.

On The Menu For This Week’s Tapas:

[BOOK] 📖 Atomic Habits
[DISCOVERY] 🧠 Selective Attention & Awareness
[METHOD] Habit Stacking

I saw a post on LinkedIn about a recent connection wanting to read more business books, but actually apply what she learned from them. She asked if anyone would be down to do a virtual book club.

My digital hand shot up immediately for the community and accountability.

We met this week to discuss the first book, Atomic Habits by James Clear.

If you haven't gotten around to reading the book or find business books hard to read, here's the gist:

Small changes, even 1%, each day makes a larger impact over time.

If you want lasting change, the key is to establish systems over habits.

No, this isn't brand new information.

But this book has already helped me understand the science behind behavior change (and why willpower isn't enough).

My Takeaways from Atomic Habits (So Far):

To make change, you must turn unconscious habits into conscious habits.
To make change, you must make the conscious (hard) habits unconscious (seamless).
To make change easier, pair challenging things with delightful things (rewards).

Make the unconscious conscious.

In the book, Clear describes a safety check system called "Point and Call" used by train/speed rail operators.

Before leaving a station, the train ~~conductors? engineers? safety officials?~~ employees all conduct a last-minute safety check where they point at the areas that need attention and call what they see. Purely identification.

This safety check decreased errors by 85% and accidents by 30%. Why?

It forces you to identify what you see.

Remember the psychology experiment with the gorilla and basketball?

It was a study on selective attention. The study shows how we can become so focused on one thing (passing a basketball) that we can be completely blindsided by another.

Our attention can be hyper-focused or incredibly broad. And we aren't always sure when we switch from one method to another.

Pointing-and-calling helps bring our attention to the things we might not see (like a gorilla dancing around a basketball game).

I'm adding a "point-and-call" system to my life where I narrate what I'm doing and its impact in order to help me become aware of the habits I have. Once I'm aware of them, then I can begin to change them.

Make the conscious (hard) unconscious (seamless).

Hard doesn't only mean "difficult", it can also mean "time consuming".

When I lived in the dorms in college, I used to brush my teeth in the shower.

I wasn't trying to conserve water (but it was an added benefit). I realized that several trips to and from the bathroom down the hall meant it took me longer to get ready. The less time to get ready in the morning, the longer I could sleep.

There's wisdom in the adage "If you need something done efficiently, ask a lazy college kid".

GIF of shower curtain pulled back to reveal a fully clothed college guy in the shower brushing his teeth and typing on his laptop.

I know now that this is called Habit Stacking where you pair one hard habit with another seamless one. You begin to associate the hard habit with the easy habit, so they all become easier.

I'm adding habit-stacking to my routines, so I can reduce time and pair habits together. If I do one habit, I've done them all and don't need to second guess, "did I pack my lunch today?".

Pair challenging things with delightful things.

At first, this seemed harder to do as an adult. I find I can't trick myself the way my mom did when I was a kid.

I didn't think "After I file my taxes, then I can try that new restaurant" would work the same.

It does work, but Clear shares how the environment you're in can play an even bigger role.

He recommends joining a community (environment) where the challenging thing is accepted as normal.

Our need for social acceptance is so strong, that we'll opt to do the hard thing vs be cast out.

I realized, I've already experienced this phenomenon.

I lived with two gals who loved talking about money and personal finances.

We'd do our personal budgets together.
We'd go shopping (and get bulk deals) together.
We'd even share investing and budget tips with each other.

While we lived together, I paid off my car and $3K in credit card debt, then started investing in the stock market.

We see Rihanna in an armchair during an interview, wearing a light blue coat and large hoop earrings. Looking straight at us, she rubs her fingers and thumbs together as if to say "let's talk money."

Being on top of my finances was encouraged. So I became super financially responsible.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn claims that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with... It makes sense.

I'm paying attention to the people and groups I spend time with. Do they challenge me? If not, how can I join a group where the norm is something I struggle with. The more time I embrace the challenge, the more likely I am to find a way to address it — and enjoy it.

As you can probably tell, this book has already been incredibly insightful, and I'm only on Chapter 11! I've had 4 different conversations about the topics and have even gotten a recommendation for a future read after this, The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.

If you're feeling stuck and just want to see a little bit of change in your life, I highly recommend picking up this book for a few quick tips on how to start to make the change.

Remember: Small steps in the right direction ALWAYS count.

Stepping along side you 👣,

Raven
Founder, Hot Olive Agency